The Man Who Chased a Catralion

Once upon a time, in a world where money ruled and common sense had gone extinct, there was a man named Gregor. Gregor had one mission in life: to make one catralion euros. Why? Nobody knew. Not even Gregor. But he had seen a motivational quote once that said, “Dream big!”—and, well, there’s nothing bigger than a catralion.

So, Gregor worked. And worked. And worked some more. He invested in stocks, crypto, real estate, and even a shady company selling “moon dust supplements” for eternal youth. Every cent he made, he reinvested. He ate instant noodles, wore the same t-shirt for years, and refused to buy new socks because, in his words, “Holes in socks are just natural ventilation.”

Then, after decades of ruthless saving and investing, it happened. His bank account finally hit one catralion euros. The financial world trembled. Economists fainted. The EU considered printing a new bill just for him. Gregor had achieved the impossible.

But there was a problem.

Now that he had a catralion euros, he was terrified of spending a single cent. Why? Because he didn’t want to drop to a miserable 999 quadrillion euros. That would be embarrassing. So instead of enjoying his unimaginable wealth, he continued living like a broke student.

In fact, things got so bad that Gregor started borrowing money from friends.

• “Hey, can I borrow 10 euros for lunch?”

• “Gregor, you have a catralion euros!”

• “Yeah, but I can’t touch that! You wouldn’t ask Michelangelo to chisel off a piece of the David, would you?”

His friends were baffled. Banks offered him premium services; he refused. Luxury brands begged him to shop; he ignored them. At one point, the European Central Bank called him personally to ask if he was planning to buy entire countries or fund a space colony. Gregor said no.

One day, a journalist asked him, “Gregor, what’s the point of all this money if you never spend it?”

Gregor thought for a moment, then smiled. “Security,” he said.

The next week, Gregor was spotted asking a friend for a free coffee at a café.

And thus, the richest man in history became the world’s most successful freeloader.