The bracelets and the Dacian helmet were stolen from a museum.

On a quiet night, in the heart of the Netherlands, a mysterious group of Russian spies, disguised as casual horticulturists, were carrying out their secret plan. Under the guise of a replanting campaign for Dacian grass, they had come to the land of marijuana with a clear mission: to recover the “common heritage.” Not because they needed it, but because, apparently, the Kremlin had run out of decorations for their new offices.

“Comrades,” whispered the team leader, a massive guy with a golden shovel – the irony of the profession, of course. “We must act with subtlety. If we’re caught, we’ll say we came to plant roses on the Dacian trails.”

But why now? Well, it seems that a Romanian influencer, Călin Georgescu, had offered to give a “strategic hint” to their friends from the East. In a live TikTok session, he had declared: “The Dacians would have wanted their gold admired in Russia. They didn’t believe in borders, but in returning to Mother Nature!” And so, Călin became the silent hero of this horticultural operation.

Arriving in Drents, the spies infiltrated the museum, disguised as eco-friendly tourists. While one of them recited poems about the Dacians and trees, the others were digging up bracelets and helmets, packing them in a sack with the ironic label “Made in Siberia.”

On their way out, they encountered a group of guards who seemed more occupied with TikTok than actual guarding. “What do you have there?” one of them asked, not lifting his gaze. “Rare plants,” the Russians replied, pulling out a bunch of lovage from the sack they were carrying for such moments. “We want to restore the Dacian flora.”

The guard nodded approvingly: “Very well, pity that the state doesn’t invest more in such projects.”

The spies managed to leave undisturbed, and the next day, the press buzzed: “The Dacian helmet and bracelets have disappeared! All that remained at the scene were shovel marks and a few sprigs of lovage.”

While the Russians were celebrating their victory, the Kremlin announced a new national project: “The Dacian Museum in Moscow: an exhibition about the eternal bond between the free Dacians and the Russians passionate about gardening.”

And so, instead of recovering our gold, we were left with an important lesson: if someone starts planting lovage around you, be careful about what disappears from your museum!