So Lonely

Description

The Skeleton’s Lonely Heart

Meet Ralph, the skeleton who just can’t catch a break. After centuries of lying comfortably in his coffin, he finally decided it was time to make an exit—not because of some grand existential awakening, but because, quite frankly, he was bored. And let’s face it, being a skeleton has its perks: no need to worry about diet or exercise, and you can always squeeze into tight spaces. But there was one thing Ralph just couldn’t shake off—the crushing loneliness.

He had seen couples in graveyards, and he was tired of just watching. He longed for a partner. Someone to, you know, hold his bones with, share a late-night skull-aching cup of bone broth, and maybe even go for a moonlit stroll (he didn’t need a bodyguard; he was already made of bones, after all). So, Ralph did what any skeleton would do—he brushed off the dust from his bones (which, let’s be honest, wasn’t easy, considering he was all dust) and put on his best “I’m just a simple guy looking for love” face, and headed out to meet someone special.

But there was one tiny problem: women ran the other way.

At first, Ralph couldn’t understand it. He had all the right ingredients: a rattling personality, a body that would never get tired, and, of course, an eternal smile that never lost its charm (because, well, he didn’t have lips). Yet, whenever he approached, they seemed to scream and flee like he was holding a bouquet of… well, bones.

“Why?” Ralph wondered aloud. “I mean, I get it. I’m not exactly fleshy in the looks department. But I have a great sense of humor! And no matter how much time goes by, I’ll never age, I swear! Isn’t that a dream?”

But the women didn’t seem to agree. Every time he tried to make small talk—“Do you mind if I rattle on about something?”—they’d scurry off like frightened mice. He even tried a little charm, giving his best bone-shaking laugh, but it only made things worse. He once even offered a woman a bouquet of roses, but, well, they just fell through his hands and into the dirt.

It didn’t take long for Ralph to realize: maybe it wasn’t him. Maybe it was his lifestyle. Who wanted to date a guy who didn’t even have a heartbeat? Or any warm body parts, for that matter? Maybe it was the way he clattered every time he moved or the fact that he had an extremely limited wardrobe (just bones, nothing else).

So, Ralph did what any self-respecting skeleton would do—he slumped back to his grave, feeling a little more… empty. But deep down, he knew one thing: he was one of a kind. And if women were scared of a guy who was literally the perfect match—low maintenance, no baggage, always available—then maybe he was better off waiting for someone who’d appreciate him for his bones, not his flesh.

And who knows? Maybe next time, someone would stop running and start seeing him. After all, as Ralph liked to remind himself, “Beauty is in the spine of the beholder.